At Qi-Optima, we adhere to the ideology of Hendrix Harville's book "Getting the Love You Want." It is extremely interesting to explore this very different perspective on couples therapy that Harville offered as early as the 1980s.

A couples therapist who followed traditional methods recognized their inefficiency and went through his own divorce. He realized that a different approach was needed to solve relationship problems. So, let's begin by observing different views on why we fall in love. As babies, we have an incredible capacity for observation. We record everything that happens around us, even if we don't understand it yet. As we grow, a transformative phenomenon occurs: we gain more understanding, which leads to a decrease in our ability to observe as much as adults are believed to, approximately 20 percent. As children, we are at the mercy of our parents, and even with good parents, they can cause us traumas.

Trauma arises from being alone when something terrible happens. According to the Qi-Optima experience, the purpose of our entire life is to learn and grow. We want to understand why these specific situations hurt, wounded, or harmed us, and we want to recreate such situations.

We draw a model of these so-called "negative aspects" that our caregivers (fathers, mothers, or those who took care of us) had. Have you noticed that your partner often resembles yourself, your father, mother, or step-parent? Here is the corrected version of the requested text, taking into account spelling and dividing the text into paragraphs: The book "Getting the Love You Want" states that separation is not advisable because the more partners one has, the "sharkier" love becomes. Love can indeed be strengthened by getting married, sharing a common last name, living in the same apartment, or having a child.

If any of these aforementioned actions are taken, we often feel "safe" and start to uncover our childhood traumas. In such cases, the partner often feels that the person has changed and wants to separate. Separation is sometimes necessary in cases of severe mental and physical violence or abuse. It is important to always report crimes appropriately.

If it is possible and safe to continue, we recommend Qi-Optima's 3-month intensive program to rekindle love and regain motivation for personal growth. However, one of the best tasks in a relationship is to make the world a better place every day. That is why the purpose of a relationship is to heal the wounds we acquired during our childhood, and it takes a lifetime for them to heal. For the success of this 3-month intensive period, both partners sign an agreement not to commit suicide or separate. (It may sound harsh, but the program is not easy as you have to confront your own fears and skeletons and work towards healing them.)

Sometimes, after the 3 months, the joint decision is to separate, but at least you can say that you gave it your all, and there won't be lingering thoughts of "what if..." or "maybe you will grow as individuals and your relationship will become better than you could have imagined." So, book an appointment for the first free consultation, where we can tailor the treatment/therapy period according to your needs, or you can directly choose the 3-month intensive couples therapy package, which offers savings in package prices: